The cats are winning

Wednesday, January 14, 2015 , , , Permalink 0

Yesterday was one of those days where the Universe is just slightly off. Not a truly bad day, just full of mini-fails.

It started with Milton, our largest and weirdest (i.e. legitimately psychotic) cat, peeing on the bed. Full puddle o’ pee, right between the pillows. Better? He stayed crouched in it. So it was puddle o’ pee on bed and gigantic, dripping, pee-cat.

Milton looks innocent

So instead of showering and making a pretty hairdo for a work meeting I was frantically ripping sheets and mattress pads off the bed, hoping the pee hadn’t sunk into the mattress (thankfully, it had not.) Then there was a fun chase around the house trying to catch pee-cat before he covered something else with his pee-fur. While nothing was soaked, there was  a lot of residual sprinkle. He was finally corralled under the lowest drawer in my closet, where he had no escape route. As much as I wanted to be done with the situation, he required a bath. So, cat bath (and I’m still in pajamas). I have washed each of our cats before without any problem. Apparently Milton was so amped up he gained super-cat strength and bolted from the utility tub twice. While soaking wet (although this time it was water, rather than pee, so there’s that…)

No time for a person shower or pretty hair before meeting the husband and client. Tried on a few items, yelled loudly and threw clothes around, and finally ended up in an outfit I was fairly happy with. Olive green skinny jeans, a loose scoop-necked black short-sleeved top, black flats, a sheer infinity scarf of cream, olive and brown, and hair in a bun. Jumped in the car and headed to meet the husband. Arrived a little late, hopped in his car and realized we were twins. He was wearing nice olive dress pants and his business polo, in black, with black shoes. Who does that??

Ellen Twinsies

After the meeting, headed home to discover that Mister (not Milton) had thrown up on the bed in the guest bedroom. Because one cat bodily fluid disaster per day just wasn’t enough. People laugh when I tell them there is a Kitty Conspiracy in our house. I’m not kidding. They plan these things, people!!

I believe this leaves us at Cats: 4,762 and Cass: 0


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