Who should be the next Bachelor? Jared would be great, if we could get him to shave his cheeks. Tanner is beginning to show a good sense of humor – even though he’s been largely underwhelming until the most recent episode. Josh and Shawn are both overly-muscled softies, which is usually a good indicator for future Bachelor-dom. I suppose we should wait until the current season of Bachelorette is over before we begin speculating. Oh, wait. For all intents and purposes, this season of the Bachelorette IS over!
It’s strange, because there have been previous Bachelorettes that I found considerably less likable than Kaitlyn, and yet I cannot bring myself to care about anyone, even the bachelors, this season. Even with all the contrived drama, it’s boring. A guy loses his shit, Kaitlyn is shocked, To Be Continued. Ad nauseam. Next?
In case you missed it (you lucky, lucky dog), here’s your Episode 7 Recap for Bachelorette.
We start where Episode 6 left off, with Ian digging his own grave. He finishes digging, throws himself in and declares himself fabulous. In the exit limo ride he drones on about how he’d be the ideal Bachelor. Yeah. Good luck with that, Ian.
Kaitlyn, who is offended and shocked, does not return to the other bachelors. Nick dives in to comfort her (suck face). Kaitlyn spends the rest of the cocktail party with Nick then sends home Justin and Josh. Josh cries.
The first one-0n-one date comes up and Kaitlyn awards it to Nick. If you were watching, and had any true willpower, this is where you should have turned off the television. I did not. Perhaps I’m a glutton for punishment? They spend the day wandering around Dublin, drinking and swapping spit. They enjoy a candlelit dinner in a church at which time you realize that they only thing preventing the two from ripping off their clothes and jumping into bed is the presence of a camera crew and the lack of a bed.
Don’t worry, Kaitlyn has that covered. She takes Nick back to her room, then into the bedroom, where there IS a bed, and the camera crew must remain outside. There is some seriously awkward heavy breathing, because neither one of them bothers to turn off their microphones.
Cut to Nick leaving Kaitlyn’s room the next morning. We’re then treated to Kaitlyn, on her balcony, going from lust-drunk to lust-hungover. We can actually see it on her face, as it sinks in that what she’s done might actually negatively affect her other eight boyfriends.
A few notes, here:
1. While I’d like to believe that, in the same position, I would not have made the same decision, I do not judge Kaitlyn for deciding to sleep with someone at this point in their relationship. I think Nick was a bad choice. And I am surprised that she wasn’t able to recognize, prior to the decision, that this would so obviously affect the rest of the guys.
2. Most people remember that Nick blasted a previous bachelorette for doing exactly what Kaitlyn just did. Nick called out Andi on national television for sleeping with him while having feelings for two other bachelors. Here, Kaitlyn has 8 other bachelors in the wings. Nick just participated in the exact thing for which he denigrated Andi. How well could this possibly end?
Moving on. Next is a group date. The guys attend a “traditional” Irish Wake for Kaitlyn, who is in a casket. IN A CASKET. I wish you could see me shaking my head. Surprisingly, the guys all do well with their toasts. Hmm… perhaps they’re a better group when Kaitlyn isn’t actually around? Kaitlyn gives the group date rose to Jared. Shawn loses his shit.
Shawn pulls aside one of the crew members and tries to get him to spill intel on Kaitlyn’s relationships with other bachelors. We learn that Kaitlyn told Shawn, in private, that he was “The One.” If Shawn lasts long enough to find out about Nick, his head might actually explode. Shawn is so distraught that he tracks down Kaitlyn at her hotel room. To Be Continued.
In clips for the next episode, ABC implies that Shawn might bail on his own. Kaitlyn comes clean about the Nick situation to at least some of the remaining bachelors. Almost all of the bachelors are shown crying. Here’s what’s interesting. After the initial two episodes, I noted that there were no “this season…” clips showing or referencing a proposal or The Final Rose. Combined with the teasers for the next episode, is it possible that Kaitlyn actually calls the whole thing off? That she might walk away?
Last night, a friend of mine texted, mid-episode:
New Bachelorette please.
Can we just fire her 1/2 way through?
I agreed… but maybe we don’t have to. Maybe she quits on her own.