Another season of The Bachelorette has come to a close. One more couple has been added to that lengthy list of folks who have gotten engaged following a whirlwind courtship competition. Let’s just hope they make it to the not-so lengthy (very, very short) list of those who make it to the altar.
How did the season wrap up? About the same as every season does. During an hour and thirty five minutes of careful editing in an attempt to make the outcome shocking: the final two suitors meet the parents, the parents are generally supportive, there are two final dates that are bittersweet, the suitors look at ridiculously large engagement rings, The Bachelorette goes from heartbroken to engaged in less than ten minutes, the engaged couple seems impossibly happy. The End.
Given the basic plot and timeline, we can skip over the standard stuff and focus on highlights.
Chris Harrison starts the live commentary claiming that he’ll be getting to the bottom of Jordan’s family dispute with brother Aaron Rodgers. This is the first tip that Jordan is either The One (likely) or the next Bachelor (possible, but not as likely).
The show begins in Phuket, Thailand.
JoJo’s family (mom Soraya, dad Joe, brothers Matt and Ben, and sister Rachel) has gathered at Sri panwa to meet the guys.
They meet Jordan first. He jumps right into conversation with the family and gives everyone funny hats. Then the judging begins. Soraya admires the way he engages with the family and thinks he’s genuine, but worries he and JoJo are too much alike and it will cause JoJo’s old insecurities to resurface. Joe is concerned about JoJo’s past trust issues. Jordan assures him, as he did Soraya, that he and JoJo have discussed those issues but he looks forward to proving himself to Joe. Having shown up that day with every intention of asking Joe for his blessing to propose to JoJo (and JoJo knowing this), Jordan thinks the conversation doesn’t feel like he’d expected and does not ask for Joe’s blessing.
Then the family meets Robby.
Karen Kane Free Spirit Trapeze Dress / similar / similar
Vince Camuto Garadin wedge /similar (seen on Episode 8)
beaded silver horn necklace – unknown / similar pendant / similar chain
Robyn Rhodes Cary ring
Robby tells them, “[JoJo’s] smart and intelligent and that’s a no-brainer.” JoJo tells everyone, “Robby was the first person to tell me that he loved me.” I maintain that is not actually in his favor. Soraya thinks he’s a gentleman. JoJo’s brothers think he’s a great guy and see no red flags. Robby asks Joe and Soraya for JoJo’s hand in marriage and promises to protect, care for and love her. Joe says he’s an outstanding gentleman, tells Robby that JoJo loves him (even though JoJo hasn’t told Robby that, yet) and that he is honored Robby will be in the family. Joe then breaks down into tears and tells JoJo, “I just want the best for you.” JoJo decides that knowing her family loves Robby makes her love him more.
Following the meet and greets, there is a family discussion of the two suitors. Mom says Robby is more husband material for JoJo. Dad says Robby would be a more logical fit for JoJo. Ben says they all like Jordan but Robby seems more committed. Then JoJo finds out Jordan didn’t ask for parents’ blessing to propose. During all of this, as the family pushes Robby, you can see JoJo become frustrated and she begins to defend Jordan. Ben asks where her protection of Jordan is coming from – is it wanting to choose Jordan? (Yes. In fact, Ben, you’ve nailed the second tip-off that JoJo is leaning toward Jordan.) Then she says this:
“If I ended up with Jordan and if things ever did get tough and it didn’t work out I’d always regret not going for Robby and then I feel like if I went with Robby I’d always wonder like what if this other life what if that was a life I was meant for.”
I’m not a psychologist, but that’s a pretty clear statement. If it was bad with Jordan, she’d wonder about Robby. Even if it were good with Robby, she’d wonder about Jordan. I’m calling that Tip #3.
JoJo’s final date with Robby is on a beach.
He describes their future as sitting on the sofa, with a dog, while dinner is burning in the oven, with the faint noise of kids in the background. Why is the dog with them and the kids aren’t? If dinner’s burning, lord only knows what the kids are getting into. JoJo says, “it’s overwhelming how much I trust you.” And then they yab yum, which just makes me think of Chase. They retire to the Phuket Marriott Resort & Spa, Nai Yang Beach, where he presents her with photos of the two of them taken by The Bachelorette production crew.
Show Me Your Mumu Festibell Sweater in Pacific Dip Dye – sold out / similar
Blank NYC Raw Cut Off Finish shorts / similar (also in Episode 8, 9)
JoJo says this is the type of love she’s been waiting for and that she sees a lifetime with Robby.
From the moment Jordan arrives for the final date, JoJo’s mind is clearly somewhere else.
Zara top – unavailable online / similar / similar
Blank NYC Raw Cut Off Finish Shorts (see above)
Becca by Rebecca Virtue Home Spun Sliding Triangle Top / similar / similar
Brooklyn Designs Monica Chalcedony Gold Necklace / similar
Brooklyn Designs Casey Long Gold Lariat / similar
He notices, she deflects. Finally, after a boat ride and kayaking through caves, JoJo tries to figure out why he didn’t ask her father for his blessing. Jordan tries to explain that he didn’t ask because he wasn’t sure 100% sure that’s what JoJo wanted (not that she didn’t want him to ask, but that she might be wanting to get engaged to Robby, instead). She is disappointed and upset because if he does propose, he doesn’t have the blessing, which will ruin that moment. JoJo now doubts he’s ready to commit and she’s scared. They had back to the Marriott where Jordan promises that when he gets on one knee, it’s for life.
JoJo says she knows how he feels about her but doesn’t know if he’s ready to propose.
Robby meets Neil Lane for the obligatory oversized ring selection then writes a note for JoJo. Jordan calls Joe and Soraya and asks for JoJo’s hand in marriage, writes a note for JoJo letting her know he has done that and meets Neil Lane to look at the gratuitously large diamonds.
On the morning of the Final Rose Ceremony JoJo says she woke up knowing what she would do. Then she gets the notes. JoJo reads Jordan’s note. She says, “I don’t like that, it’s everything I needed to hear.” JoJo reads Robby’s note. She says, “These are the things I want to hear, the kind of love I want to have.”
During the next live commentary break, Chris Harrison introduces the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. What?
We return to JoJo walking towards the Final Rose Ceremony location.
She says she’s “weary of falling in love with more than one person,” which makes me crazy because I hate when people say weary when they mean wary.
She talks about not wanting to hurt whoever is not receiving the final rose. And Robby exits the first limo.
Brief moment to congratulate myself on predicting Jordan as The One in my Bachelorette Bracket. Also, this is the third outcome – in a row – that I have guessed correctly. I’m on a roll!
But back to JoJo and Robby. He should have known something was up from the beginning. Her face clearly says that he is not the one, and she begins crying (not the good kind) while he’s talking. She stops him before he gets down on one knee. She tells him, “I’ve been wanting it to be you. I fell in love with you but for some reason my heart is somewhere else.” He wishes her good luck and repeatedly covers his face with a hand and a handkerchief. There are no actual tears.
A beaming JoJo greets Jordan. He tells her she’s his best friend and his soulmate. JoJo stops him before he gets down on one knee. She says, “Can I tell you something first? …Jordan, I love you so much.” Then he gets on one knee. JoJo says, “Is this happening?” Yes. You’ve talked about this for days. You literally JUST said you didn’t want him to get on one knee until you told him you loved him. He asks, she says yes. The two then say “I love you” about a hundred more times.
After the Final Rose begins with Robby. He has a matching gingham pocket square, necktie AND boutonniere. He was confused and disappointed at the Final Rose Ceremony but glad to hear she loved him. He “respect[s] the hell out of Jordan” and her decision. JoJo comes out.
Her hair is pulled back! After an entire season of a single hairstyle, we finally got something new! She tells Robby that she loved him, but she was in love with Jordan and the love with Robby wasn’t “that fairytale forever love.” At Chris Harrison’s pressing she admits she didn’t think she and Robby were as compatible in the long term. He leaves the stage.
Chris asks JoJo who should the next Bachelor should be. JoJo mentions Luke and Chase before Chad “spontaneously” stands up to nominate himself, saying he thinks he deserves love and maybe to be the next Bachelor. Actual shocking moment happens when some people in the audience appear to actually be cheering for him.
Chris asks JoJo how she’s been holding up since filming ended. She says it’s been difficult and almost feels like she has to prove herself, blaming the media, tabloids and rumors.
Jordan comes out and tells Chris they’re doing great, communicating well and having tough conversations. JoJo mentions their families – her family loves him, his family has been incredibly supportive. When it got rocky they just got better at communicating with each other. They’re then shown a series of inflammatory gossip magazine covers. Because that’s necessary. Jordan says they expected bumps, but she’s the person he want to go through it with.
All they really want is to go to Chipotle.
In the next few days they will move in together in a new home in Dallas. They’ve talked about possible dates for wedding next year. Then Chris brings up Aaron Rodgers and asks whether anything has been resolved. Jordan responds without addressing the question AT ALL. JoJo admits she has not met Aaron and says the situation is the same. Chris Harrison bestows the happy couple with an all-expense paid vacation to Nemacolin, congratulates JoJo and Jordan again and signs off.
What?? No new Bachelor reveal? No Rodgers family drama revelations? Just incessant promotion for Bachelor in Paradise? Most disappointing After The Rose Ceremony EVER.
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