I actually started this recap while still abroad, but between ABC, iTunes, Amazon and my computer refusing to work with one another (and sometimes refusing to work altogether), I would have spent all my days in front of a computer instead of exploring France and Amsterdam. That would have been ridiculous. Finally back in the states and getting back into the real world, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do! Enough small talk, on to the recap.
Welcome to Episode 3 of The Bachelorette, otherwise known as Part 1 of Chad’s Meltdown. The opening clips show guys in the house talking about how much they dislike Chad, and Chad talking about working out and doing bad math, “240 plus 280 is… 550…” *sigh* No, Chad. It is not. 240 plus 280 is 520.
This week will be one group date and two one-on-one dates. The first date, a one-on-one, goes to Chase. He meets JoJo outside of a yoga studio.
Paige Denim Trudy shirt in Canyon Rose/Greystone Louisville / similar
Black jeans – exact unknown / similar /similar
They are told they will participate in hot (as in temperature) hot (as in intimate) yoga. They start with what looks like a toddler throwing a tantrum on the floor.
While I can imagine the release factor of the exercise, it is not hot (as in attractive). Luckily the exercises get sexier as the date progresses. With Yab Yum (inexplicably an impossible name for the two to remember), JoJo straddles a seated Chase. Nose to nose, it’s not long before they end up going in for the kiss.
Chase and JoJo meet for dinner at Triunfo Creek Vineyard. She tells him that she felt “connected” to him when they were Yab Yumming. Chase tells her not to forget that feeling. He confesses that his parents got divorced when he was eight years old but that when he gets married, it will be forever. Telling him that she can see a future with him, JoJo gives Chase the date rose. They then dance in the courtyard to a private concert by Charles Kelley.
Back at the house, another date card arrives. Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, Ali, Daniel, Vinny, Nick, Evan, Alex and Chad will be going on the group date with JoJo. James T. mentions that he wishes his name were on the card. Chad says he doesn’t even want to go on the date. The other guys are not amused and call him out on the comment. Chad initially shrugs off their frustration, but eventually snaps. He tells Evan to stop talking. Then he calls Jordan a “27-year old failed football player.” Alex and Chad call each other pieces of shit. The meltdown is building!
The next morning, the guys pile into limos to meet JoJo. En route they discuss trying to highlight Chad’s bad behavior so that JoJo can truly see it. While that would be great, you can sense that plan could send the entire day down in flames. The date begins with JoJo and the guys in the audience at Atwater Village Theater.
A woman walks onstage and promptly has (or at least Meg Ryans) an orgasm as part of a show called Sex Talks. Turns out the guys will be sharing their own sexual experiences/secrets onstage. Chad looks pissed. Evan looks positively giddy.
Chad doesn’t want to participate. Evan decides he’s going to use his time on stage to take down Chad. Alex anticipates that this will “battle of the century.” Grant, Nick, Jordan, James F., Ali, Vinny and Wells seem to perform successfully and get laughs. Daniel talks about cutting off a chunk of a tied-down conquest’s hair. Disturbing. Then Evan takes the stage.
He begins talking about steroid use and implies that Chad is hooked on ‘roids. Chad begins fuming. Evan is pleased with himself. But then he has to walk back to his seat. Past Chad. Chad reaches out and yanks Evan’s shirt, ripping it while pulling it against his neck. It appears that Grant and other guys separate the two before anything goes further.
Chad is last on stage and asks for JoJo to come stand with him. Instead of telling a story, he attempts to kiss JoJo on stage in front of everyone. She turns her head and avoids the kiss. Alex cheers. Chad is now boiling. He punches a metal door then pushes Evan by the neck and tells him “you’re going to die.” Evan, scared, tells Chad they were just jokes.
Cut to the group cocktail party.
Jordan talks about his last serious girlfriend and what he learned from mistakes he made in that relationship. Alex tells JoJo that he’s “ride or die.” Vinny questions Chad, in front of a few of the guys, about JoJo denying his kiss (she didn’t want to make the other guys jealous) and grabbing Evan’s shirt (Evan tried to push Chad over first). Evan joins the group and poses his own question to Chad, “why are you here?” then demands an apology (and a new shirt). Chad tells Evan to just leave him alone. Evan, bold while a part of the group, panics when everyone else suddenly leaves the room.
When Chad and JoJo sit down together he tells her he didn’t want to go on the group date. She notes it and moves on, asking what happened with Evan. Chad says Evan is “the little kid trying to beat up the bully,” and admits that he is the bully, immediately before denying that he is a bully. Evan interrupts them. Chad walks away, but begins to simmer. Again. Evan tells JoJo that Chad is two-faced and that if she keeps Chad around, he will leave. Just before giving out the date rose, JoJo pulls Evan aside. She implies that Chad isn’t going anywhere, but offers him the rose. He accepts it. They return to the group. Baffled, Chad asks if Evan receiving the rose is real. JoJo tells him she doesn’t like this side of him and ends the date.
With everyone thinking that Chad is a ticking time bomb, an additional security guard is placed on Chad-duty the following morning.
James T. and JoJo, dressed in 40s style clothes, visit Culver Hotel for swing dance lessons with Jean Bellows.
James T. advises that he is the worst dancer in the world. He may be right. Walking out of the hotel they find a group of professional swing dancers getting down. They join in the fun, although their own dancing is more freestyle than swing. JoJo hopes the evening will take their relationship from friendship to romance.
Back at the house Daniel has a heart-to-heart with Chad, who is eating a raw sweet potato. Daniel likens Chad to Hitler, Trump, Mussolini and Bush, and asks him to “take it down a notch.”
JoJo and James T. are parked on a hill with a view of the city at night.
Ami Clubwear Black Grey Plaid Double-Breasted Belted jacket / similar
Gray turtleneck – exact unknown / similar / similar
James reveals that he got teased as a kid for the way he looked and that he continues to harbor a low self-esteem about his appearance because of it. JoJo tells him he’s the whole package and gives him the date rose. And then he pulls out that damn guitar. Again. ENOUGH WITH THE GUITAR, JAMES! But the song makes JoJo cry and they end up having a serious smoochfest.
The next morning Chris Harrison shows up at the mansion and breaks the news that there will be no cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony. However, JoJo will be coming over for an all-day pool party with all of the guys. Chad would prefer JoJo not be in a swimsuit, since that means the other guys will see her. Evan follows Chris out the door and lists the times that people (mostly him) have felt threatened by Chad in hopes that Chad will get booted from the house. Chris then speaks to Chad outside, alone. Chris advises that guys are in fear for their lives and that he’s heard multiple reports of steroid use. Chad tells Chris that Evan shoved him first and that he’d never have been able to get steroids into the house. Chris does not throw Chad out, but asks Chad to “think of an approach that might be received well” and take care of it.
To the camera, Chad (who maintains he is not a violent person) says, “I want to cut everyone here’s legs off, and their arms off, and there’s just gonna be torsos, and I’m just gonna throw them in the pool.”
With that, we are given the To Be Continued slide and have to wait until Episode 4 to find out what happens. Will Chad try to make peace? Will there be a mass homicide? Will the rose ceremony EVER happen?
Without a rose ceremony, we only know the following guys are expected to survive another week:
Chase (Yab Yum Yoga)
Evan (Anti-Chad Crusader when in a crowd)
James T (guitar)
No rose ceremony, no new bracket score. Ooooh… the suspense!