As you may have noticed, my initial Bachelorette Bracket had a few wrong numbers on it. I have corrected the error and updated the links on my original post, but the updated pdf is available here, and the updated image version is below.
Although I haven’t marked the version above, a Bachelorette has been chosen (Kaitlyn) and a rose ceremony has taken place. The following bachelors were either dismissed by Kaitlyn, Chris Harrison, or chose to leave: Bradley, Brady, David, Josh, Ryan M. and Shawn B.
Although you should already have chosen a Bachelorette, for 20 points, you have NOT missed anything else! All of the bachelor picking occurs before episode 3 (airing Monday, May 25, 2015 at 9pm/8pm central).
Here’s my recap:
Britt didn’t get picked. She was shocked and put on her fake crying face. I call it a fake crying face because she doesn’t actually produce tears. After squishing her eyes particularly hard, she did, in the limo, create one tear. So she has learned something from this experience.
Kaitlyn showed surprising empathy upon learning that Britt had been sent home and asked how she’d taken it. Her official take on being named The Bachelorette?
After that, Kaitlyn is announced as the Bachelorette. We see men panic over the fact that they were so vocal about their preference for Britt. We see one guy (Jared – my friends and I have nicknamed him Sharpface) fess up to having chosen Britt but wanting to stay around and get to know Kaitlyn better. Major man points to him for being honest. Some classy reactions, by bachelors, to Kaitlyn as the Bachelorette:
“My immediate reaction, when Kaitlyn walks into the room, is ‘Oh, shit!'” – Jonathan
“So where does that leave me, you know? There’s only, you know, one drinking fountain and we all must stand in the same line.” – Tony
J.J. is listed as “former investment banker.” I have to assume that the position is “former” because he has no sense of mathematics. Twice he talks about being 1000% in. *sigh*
Kaitlyn sucks face with not one, but two of the bachelors (Chris and Shawn E., in that order) prior to the rose ceremony. After the first kiss, we hear a voice-over of Kaitlyn saying, “I kissed a guy tonight, which blows my mind!” Since there was a second kiss, we can assume she put her mind back together very quickly. After the second kiss, we hear a voice-over of Kaitlyn saying, “I’m like, oh, is this what that feels like? To kiss somebody again?” So, while she may have put her mind back together, she apparently has some cracks in the short-term memory department.
Tony struggles with an emotional avalanche. He originally came for Kaitlyn. However, he “resonated” more with Britt, and was committed. Britt was let go and he has no idea what to do. He ends up flipping back to Kaitlyn. At least he appears to. Hard to say whether it’s authentic or not. Truthfully, I’m not that interested. What I really want to know is how he got that black eye! How is that not addressed?!?!
Mid-rose ceremony, Brady pulls Kaitlyn out of the room. He was a big Britt supporter, and seems to believe that he and Britt are soulmates. He tells Kaitlyn, “My heart is with the woman who left.” AND THEN HE ASKS CHRIS HARRISON TO HELP HIM FIND BRITT. Chris, always The Man, says, “I’ll hook you up… let’s do this.”
Blah, blah, blah, we have the 19 remaining bachelors. Then, teasers for the rest of the season. A large amount of screen time, during the teasers, is given to implying that Kaitlyn has sex with one of the bachelors fairly early in the process. There are many shots of her, in tears, saying she made a mistake. We get it, ABC, pre-marital sex (by a woman) is TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND SHAMEFUL. Most interesting thing about the teasers? There are NO shots of final roses and NO hint of a happy ending. In previous seasons, there has always been “… and will there be a proposal?” But not this season. I guess they didn’t want to water down their condemnation of slut-shaming.
So that’s what you’ve got, folks. Make your choices for ALL of the remaining weeks PRIOR to the next episode. Good luck!