Last night’s Bachelor Finale was the most
dramatic drawn-out finale EVER!
Prior to the start of the finale I wasn’t certain who Ben was going to choose. However, within two minutes we got the best clue of the entire season: “We’ve flown out the families of both women…” shown over live feed of Lauren’s family (mom, dad, sister and brothers) and JoJo’s family (mom and dad) in back rooms. Wait… only JoJo’s mom and dad? No siblings. The overprotective brothers are not in attendance. Why would that be the case? Because Ben picks Lauren B. For all the crafty editing in previews and these last two episodes, which successfully made it impossible to predict who Ben was going to choose, the absence of the brothers gives it away.
And then we have to sit through two hours of “I love you” and “this is hard.”
Okay, maybe a few other things happened.
Ben’s mom, Amy, is the most reasonable mother/parent/person to ever appear on the Bachelor franchise. “To know that Ben could possibly be in love with two women – first of all, it’s really disturbing to me.” Welcome to the club.
Lauren B. meets Ben’s parents first. She tells mom – while holding hands – that she said “I love you” to Ben and he said it back to her. It’s a little strange, but we’ll go with it. Mom has concerns about whether Lauren will be able to handle the curveballs that may come their way and appropriately support Ben during those times. Ben’s parents think Lauren is “polished.”
Now JoJo, who is so nervous that she’s shaking, meets the parents.
BB Dakota Amina Romper /also available here
Ben tells his parents about that one time he and JoJo took a helicopter ride over the Hoover Dam but didn’t see it because they were making out. Yeah. That’s not awkward for everyone in the room. JoJo tells mom that she said “I love you” to Ben and he said it back to her. Then they hold hands. It’s strange that one of the women made that kind of disclosure. Both of them? I smell coaching! Ben’s parents note that meeting JoJo was “different” from their time with Lauren. Dad says that JoJo was able to anticipate and alleviate any concerns he had. Mom’s tone and facial expressions imply she’s just slightly Team JoJo.
Next up is Ben and Lauren’s final date: a catamaran trip to a private beach.
Victoria’s Secret Surf Teeny Triangle Top and Neoprene String Bottom
They tell each other they love each other. Lauren says “this is crazy.” She asks a clearly stressed-out Ben what he’s thinking and he tells her she’s beautiful. A little later he confesses that things have been almost too perfect and he doesn’t know why he loves her. She doesn’t respond. Stellar communication between these two. Back at her hotel room Lauren tells Ben she’s ready to be his wife. He gives her a speech about how she’s made him a better person.
Ben and JoJo take a Jeep ride to Blue Hole.
Vitamin A Neutra Bikini – bralette (sold out in limelight) hipster / azure bralette & hipster / similar top
JoJo tries to discuss what life might look like when the show ends and Ben starts to shut down. He admits he doesn’t know yet who he’s going to propose to. Back at her hotel room JoJo shares how confused and worried she feels. Ben gives her a speech about how she’s become his best friend.
Black backless halter deep-v romper / similar / similar
In an attempt to get Ben to tell her she’s the one, JoJo takes him into the bathroom, where cameras can’t go. Microphone packs, however, DO go in bathrooms. They also pick up whispers. Instead of Ben telling her she’s the one, he tells her that not only does he love Lauren, but he has told Lauren he loves her.
Ben meets with Neil Lane and chooses an insanely large diamond ring for the unspecified future fiancee. The rings on Bachelor are always excessively large, but this is ridiculous. Estimated cost? $95,000.
Next is a montage of JoJo and Lauren prepping for their final rose ceremonies mixed with clips of Ben pacing and looking thoughtfully into the distance. JoJo’s dress is bad. It’s not a good color for her, the texture is very Blanche Devereaux, it’s all very disappointing. And surprising because she’s been killing the dress game in recent episodes. Carry O. describes it as “something you would’ve dressed Barbie in… in the 80s.”
Mac Duggal Cassandra Stone 4365
Lauren’s dress is great, but a wee bit snug in the hips. Also, I may be biased in my love for the dress because it’s the same color, and a very similar cut, as my prom dress.
Badgley Mischka Odessa Halter Gown
The first helicopter lands, the door opens and… it’s JoJo. Showing up first means being sent home. However, ABC’s previews have implied that he may say goodbye to a woman then realize he made a mistake. So even though we know Ben is about to break her heart, there’s a small chance that this isn’t the end. JoJo gives him a speech about how deeply in love with him she is. Ben starts his speech and tells her he found love with her, BUT. And really, does it matter what comes after the BUT? JoJo is confused. She cries. Ben cries.
Prior to the second helicopter landing, Ben makes a call. He phones Lauren’s father and asks for her hand in marriage. Dad gives his blessing.
Lauren’s helicopter lands. She walks out to Ben and gives a speech about how deeply in love with him she is. Ben starts his speech and then gets down on one knee. She says yes. He says “you’re my person.” She says “you’re MY person!” He says “I’m so lucky.” She says, “I’M so lucky!”
This week’s bracket score: 30. Final bracket score: 248. My bracket really fell apart around Week 6, but I did have Lauren B. as The One. Two seasons in a row! Can I do it again for the next Bachelorette?
And speaking of the next Bachelorette, we now know why it wasn’t announced during the Women Tell All special. At the time, the future Bachelorette was still in competition for Ben’s heart. JoJo will be giving out the roses in the next round.
T by Alexander Wang Needle Knit Bandeau Dress
It’s bound to be a good season – much more interesting than, say, Season 11 (cough, cough, so bad, cough). Good luck to the next round of guys meeting her brothers!
Another Bachelor season has ended and another proposal tentatively moves forward. Should I set up a pool on how long they last?