Bachelor Ben H: Episode 5 Recap

Although it shouldn’t cause an adverse reaction on the recap, I feel it’s important to note that my Bachelor viewing and recapping conditions this week have been significantly altered. For one thing, I watched alone. My usual crew attempted to keep up the witty banter on Twitter. While it was live, it wasn’t as live as being in the same room together. In addition, this episode fell on the last night of my vacation and I’m typing this while cruising across Alligator Alley. You’ve been warned – let’s jump in!

Ben and the women are now in Mexico City.

Emily, the remaining twin, announces that nothing is holding her back. Olivia has no doubt she loves Ben and he doesn’t validate anyone the way he validates her. She is referring to the non-verbal cues she’s picking up. And by picking up I mean making up. When the first date card arrives, Olivia knows that one-on-one is for her. The one-on-one goes to Amanda. That surprises Olivia because Amanda has children. Because, as everyone knows, if you have children you are no longer attractive and you do not get invited on dates.

Amanda’s date requires an early start. This requires Ben waking ALL the women at 4:20 in the morning. 4:20, huh? Interesting time choice, Bachelor. Ben is excited to “see these girls in their element.” I’m fairly certain that no woman is truly in her element at 4am. I mean, I am, but only if you let me continue sleeping. Wake me and the spell is broken.

Ben finds a hairpiece and asks, “whose weave is this?” I would also like to know. The women move into the hallway to talk to the cameras. Is no-one else booked on this floor? Because if anyone else is around, they are also receiving an unexpected wake-up call. Olivia doesn’t think Amanda will come back from the date.

Amanda’s date starts with a hot air balloon ride to a picnic in a field. They talk about the fact that they each want Ben to get to know Amanda more. They decide that can wait until dinner.

Back at the house, Jubes is having a tough time. She’s jealous. The card for the group date arrives. Lauren H. is not on  it, meaning she’ll get the second one-on-one date this round.

Amanda and Ben’s dinner takes place in the Santa Fe business district. Gosh that dress looks familiar. Know why? Because Leah wore it for the Rose Ceremony last week.

Bachelor For Love and Lemons Noir Lace Mini Amanda LeahFor Love and Lemons noir lace mini dress

Amanda tells Ben that she and the father of, like, her girls married when their first child was, like, 6 months old. Despite major, like, red flags, she stayed with him. When she was, like, pregnant with their second child she, like, discovered texts and, like, messages from old girlfriends and, like, people he was meeting online. (Hey, I’m only saying it so much because she does) He doesn’t know why someone like her would like someone like him. (That one wasn’t even my embellishment. Apparently the “likes” are catching.) She gets the date rose.

The group date starts with a Spanish lesson. They learn important phrases like, I love you, I’m falling in love with you and I want to kiss you. Jubes, who is not having fun, refuses to play along. Becca’s hair is in a topknot that is less messy chic and more just messy. Olivia’s jeans are so tight that they give her an extra butt crease. These things baffle me.

Bachelor Amanda topknot Olivia jeans

The group goes to a restaurant called Carbon. The chef/owners (and brother and sister) announce that they will be providing recipes, in Spanish, for the women to make and be judged upon. The women need to split into teams of two. When they realize someone can be partners with Ben, Jubes and Olivia refuse to partner with anyone else. Finally, Olivia ends the standoff by announcing that she claims him. The teams are then sent downstairs, to Mercado Roma (a market) to find ingredients for their dishes.

Back at the hotel, Leah’s Date card arrives. She’s super excited. She’s always super excited.

In the Carbon kitchen everyone is having fun, although Ben notes that Jubilee and Lauren B. (a team after Jubes lost Ben to Olivia) are quiet. She says the date just isn’t fun at this point.

The dishes are presented to the chefs. The sister says Olivia’s dish looks like dog food. Lauren B and Jubilee win. Aside from knowing that their recipe included fish, we have no idea what they made. And although they win… they get nothing. No extra time with Ben.

At the group date cocktail party, Olivia snags Ben immediately (duh). Emily steals him away. Jubes pouts on the couch. Ben takes Lauren H. out walking in the city. By the time Ben gets to private time with Jubilee she’s lost all confidence in herself and declines to hold hands with him as they walk away from the group.

Ben tells Jubilee that he can’t say he’s confident with her because she’s pulling away. He does not think, with everything that has happened, that something could exist between them. He walks her out. She says she’s unlovable. IRONY, GUYS! Because at the beginning of all of this, BEN thought HE was unlovable!!! Ben goes back and tells the other girls how great Jubilee was, but that he said goodbye. JoJo interrupts him and pulls him away to offer moral support. Olivia gets the rose.

Lauren H.’s date starts with shopping at Pineda Covalin’s boutique. Then they go to the design studio. Then they get invited to the fashion week fashion show. Then they get put into the fashion show as models. While waiting to walk the runway, haoot Lauren H. makes friends with the models. Ben is feeling himself way too much. After the show they do tequila shots. At their rooftop dinner Lauren tells Ben about her last relationship. After four years, living together and moving across the country there was an unexpected breakup and discovery that he’d been cheating on her. She now chooses to be happy. She gets the rose.

At the Pre-Rose Ceremony cocktail party, JoJo tells Ben she wants to know everything, Ben promises not to blindside her. Lauren B. can see a life with Ben. Olivia tells Amanda that she reminds her of an episode of Teen Mom. Amanda tells Olivia she’s like Snookie. Olivia tears up, says she’s trying and will try harder.

Emily decides to share her Olivia hate with Ben. Olivia figures out Emily’s talking about her and heads over to break it up. Emily bolts. Olivia gives Ben a ring. Emily cries a lot and calls Haley. Amanda tells Ben she has felt targeted by Olivia. Jennifer mentions that Olivia’s two-faced.

Chris Harrison pulls Ben to the front of the group for the Rose Ceremony. Ben starts his usual speech then asks to speak with Olivia. The other women are confused, but feel certain Ben will be taking back Olivia’s rose. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until next week to find out. The drama is TO BE CONTINUED!

Sticking around for one more week (assuming no roses are rescinded):
Amanda (mom who isn’t taking Olivia’s sh*t)
Olivia (delusional and deceptive)
Lauren H. (the H stands for Happy)

Jubes has gone home.

No official bracket score until the Rose Ceremony had taken place. Will Ben take back the rose?


  • Evelina
    February 2, 2016

    I saw a little clip of the Bachelor announcing which twin he wants. I can’t believe they had twins on the show!! I can’t imagine what it would be like if the remaining one went to the end!

    • Jeans and a Tank Top
      February 3, 2016

      And if they ended up together? I feel like that would make for some awkward family gatherings at the holidays.

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