Bachelor Ben H: Episode 3 Recap

Episode 3 begins with Amanda and Lauren B. discussing Olivia. They decide that she’s a Mean Girl putting on a Good Girl face for the cameras.

Ah, Mean Girls.

That’s really the theme of the whole episode.

Mean Girls

The first of three dates this week is a one-on-one. Ben takes Lauren B., a flight attendant, for a ride in a trick plane. They share many awkward mouthpiece-in-the-way kisses during the flight. They fly over the Bachelor Mansion. The other women realize that it is, in fact, Ben and Lauren B. flying over them. Cue emotional overreactions.

Ben and Lauren B. fly to the middle of nowhere. And, in the center of a completely deserted locale, there is a running hot tub. Really, Bachelor? Ben called it “goofy,” but it didn’t come across as amusing. This makes two weeks in a row of awkwardly forced hot tub scenes.

Back at the mansion, Caila is talking to JoJo when she breaks down into tears. She talks about how hard it will be to see Ben with other people but she knows “it’s worth it.” Not that it could be worth it, if she ends up with Ben. She seems to see their union as the only possible outcome, and that the other women are just a phase she has to suffer through. Which is a little thoughtless (and condescending), since she’s talking to one of the other women.

At dinner, Ben and Lauren B. discuss their families and why she is single (she’s picky).

At the mansion, the group date card arrives. The people not invited on the group date, and eligible for the final one-on-one, are JoJo, Jubilee, Becca and Caila. Jubilee is certain that her name will not be on that card.

Ben tells Lauren B. that his father underwent serious heart surgery just before the show began filming. Lauren B. tells him that she wants to met his family, realizes how it sounds and gets embarrassed. Clarification: her flub appears sincere, not manipulative. (Patting myself on the back for picking Lauren B. as The One in my Bachelor Bracket!) She gets the rose and they receive a private performance from Lucy Angel.

Mean Girls Cady and Aaron at prom

The group date is held at the Los Angeles Coliseum. Lauren H. is super excited, as always. US National Team (and World Cup Champions) Alex Morgan and Kelly O’Hare are there to teach the women how to play soccer. They are not impressed .

Back at the mansion, Jubilee is talking to JoJo when she breaks down into tears. She thinks Ben has a type and it’s not her. JoJo is apparently becoming the house shoulder. When insecure and in tears, go to JoJo.

At the coliseum, Chris Harrison splits the women into two teams. The winning team will spend the evening with Ben.

Emily, one of the twins, is the star of the game as a killer goalie. Finally! Something to differentiate the two! Side note: while it’s incomprehensible to me that they wanted to date one guy at the same time, I’m beginning to realize how much fun it is for them to be there together. Also, they’re funny.

Throughout the game, we are provided with clips of Olivia talking about how aggressive and competitive she is. When Rachel decides to play through excruciating pain during sudden death, we get footage of Olivia claiming that she will “take advantage” of Rachel’s injury. While Olivia has shown herself to be manipulative and a drama-starter, Bachelor producers are going overboard on this episode building up Evil Olivia… with no payoff. There is no cheap shot at Rachel. Olivia doesn’t even score the winning goal.

Amber, Leah, Lace, Haley, Jami and Lace win the game and an evening with Ben. This is when The Amber Show begins. Amber talks about how she hasn’t had any time. Not “time with Ben”, just time. In fact, she rarely mentions Ben. She talks about herself, her experience and her time. Olivia snags Ben first, which sets tongues wagging. Amber begins talking trash. Specifically, dissing Olivia’s toes. Very classy. Jami tells Olivia.

Back at the mansion, the final date card arrives. Jubilee is so anxious she nearly vomits. When her name is read, she jumps up, screams and becomes overjoyed. Jubilee suffers from serious insecurity issues.

On The Amber Show, Amber continues to discuss her time, her experience on the previous season, and now the other women. Still not Ben. She states that if it takes “two times to be on The Bachelor to find someone who loves [her],” it’s worth it (apparently any Bachelor will do).

When they have time alone, she tells Ben that she has learned so much “from [herself]” in the past year and that this round of Bachelor is different because she knows what she wants and is hopeful. She does not mention how he fits into that, or her feelings toward him, specifically. After they kiss, she thanks him (speaking of insecure…) She gets the date rose.

As Jubilee preps for her date, she is noticeably nervous. She confesses to the other women that she still can’t believe Ben chose her for a one-on-one. While she is visibly anxious and struggling, the other women write her off as a bitch and shoot death stares.

Mean Girls school against Cady

When she learns the date begins with a helicopter, her discomfort only increases. She’s afraid of heights.

Jubilee attempts to deflect the nerves with humor, but the jokes fall flat with the other women. Instead of recognizing her unease, they call her disrespectful. Caila even “feels bad for Ben” having to spend the day with Jubilee.

Regina George called. She wants her attitude back.

The date is at Cal-a-Vie Health Spa where Jubilee begins to warm up. And Ben is smitten. Super Smitten Kitten.

At dinner, she reveals that her entire family died. Ben tries to provide some comfort for her in what is an obviously difficult conversation. He gives her the date rose. The next morning, the rest of the women give Jubilee the cold shoulder while saying she can’t get along with other girls.

Ben begins the rose ceremony by disclosing that two persons close to his family passed away the night before. He is visibly distraught, holding back tears. He explains he’s looking for a woman to turn to in times like this. Olivia immediately snags him (of course) and shares how hard it is for her to deal with a dislike of her own legs. Ben is not impressed.

Amanda tells Ben she’s there if he wants to talk.

The majority of the women make catty comments about Jubilee in hushed tones from across the room.

Mean Girls Regina whispering

When she walks up to a small group and tries to join their conversation, the women walk away.

Mean Girls You can't sit with us

She decides that, in order to help Ben feel better, she will give him a back massage. While it is awkward in the cocktail party situation, the way the other women react you’d think she was giving him a striptease. Their horror might be funny if the recipient of their venom was a manipulative bitch, but Jubilee doesn’t seem to be that person.

And then The Amber Show comes back on. She claims Jubilee has been “flaunting” her rose. Then she decides that since everyone has been talking about Jubilee all night, Jubilee should know about it. She goes to find Jubilee, ostensibly to bring her back to the group and tell her that everyone has been talking about her. The other women don’t stop Amber. They tell her good luck.

Mean Girls Evil People

Jubilee senses something is up and declines to go back to the group with Amber. Amber says she’ll bring everyone out to her. Jubilee walks upstairs and hides out in a bathroom.

Mean Girls Cady bathroom

Caila admits to the twins that it would’ve been less a talk and more an attack.

Ben goes upstairs to find out what’s going on. Amber, pissed off that someone is ruining her “first night ever” with a rose, also goes up to the bathroom. She tells Jubilee to stop crying…

Mean Girls Shut Up

then informs her (in front of Ben) that “the girls” were offended by Jubilee’s jokes and tells her she needs to be grateful.

Ben stands up for Jubilee and shuts Amber’s shit down. He should have asked for her rose back, but I assume she’ll be out next week. The Amber Show just got its cancellation notice.

Lace pulls Ben outside. Instead of the expected self-induced drama, Lace tells Ben that she’s not ready to be there, and that she needs to continue working on herself before she’s ready to let someone else in. Smart girl. For all the crazy she showed in the first two episodes, her decision shows a strength I could not have predicted. I hope she does find herself.

Time for the Rose Ceremony!

Sticking around for one more week (in order of roses received):
Lauren B. (date rose – sweet)
Amber (date rose – very Mean Girl)
Jubilee (date rose – insecure and misunderstood)
Lauren H. (easily excitable, moderate Mean Girl)
Amanda (mom)
Becca (joined in with the Mean Girls)
Haley (shy, sweet, funny)
Emily (team player)
Rachel (moderate Mean Girl)
Caila (still flirting with crazy)
JoJo (Mean Girl)
Jennifer (flying way under the radar)
Leah (forgettable)
Olivia (delusional)

After Lace’s departure, Shushanna and Jami were sent home.

This week’s bracket score: 36. Total bracket score: 68. How did you do last night?



1 Comment
  • LIndsay
    January 20, 2016

    Your recaps are THE BEST. This show seems like a train wreck.

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